I’m someone who is generally thought of as being ‘nice’. Even-tempered. Polite. Calm. These are just a few of the words I’ve heard people use to describe me. And that’s really lovely. I pride myself on the ability to continue to be nice even when my brain might be screaming blue murder or even thinking “OMG…blah, blah, blah!” It’s not easy but I do it. I figure the world needs more nice people nowadays, so I make the effort. With a smile. It costs nothing so why not? Like the saying goes: If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

However, even all of my self control and social correctness is beginning to fail me every time I pick up the phone to hear another thick-accented telemarketer launching into their scripted spiel. They are the bane of my working-from-home life. And they are on the increase, big time. Telemarketers are like the cockroach of the advertising world, surviving the nuclear GFC explosion and mutating to become bigger and more pervasive, yet clinging to their original irritating mantra of calling at the least convenient moment. Whatever happened to the ‘Do Not Call’ phone list?? Julia?? Ploise explain.

As is my wont I have tried to be nice to these people. They are only doing their job I tell myself, as I listen to what they have to say and then, ever-so respectfully say “Look, thank you very much but I’m not interested, okay?” They’d then counter with a long list of reasons why I should talk to them, interspersed with me repeating that I really, truly wasn’t interested but thank you, anyway. Finally, after much too-ing and fro-ing, they’d eventually give up.

But did they appreciate my time and my unwillingness to rudely hang up in their ear? Oh no, they certainly did NOT. They ignored me and kept on talking, doggedly and slightly louder in volume, as though by sheer persistence they’d wear me down and I’d suddenly exclaim: “Why yes! I’d love to go to an investment seminar/refinance my house/talk about my holiday habits!” *eye rolls*

After an avalanche of these kinds of scenarios this week, I finally lost it. Mrs Nice & Sweet disappeared, only to be replaced by Mrs Curt & Abrupt.

*dun dun dun*

Mrs Curt & Abrupt was to the point. And very effective. As soon as she heard their whiny voices on the line, she firmly said “Not interested.” And promptly hung up. Click. Just like that. No further explanation, no pre-empted warning. While Mrs Nice & Sweet would never commit such atrocities of telephone etiquette, Mrs Curt & Abrupt couldn’t care less. She has no patience for this time-wasting caper, choosing the quickest method of disposal and moving on, leaving Mrs Nice & Sweet free to get back to her work, unbothered and in peace once more.

She’s a bit of a revelation, Mrs Curt & Abrupt. Talk about cutting through the crap, she’s like a hot knife running through butter. The Door Bitch of your phone. Anyone who doesn’t pass muster is unceremoniously cut. CLICK. See you later. NOT. *g*

So to all telemarketers out there, let this be a warning to you. While I still remain Mrs Nice & Sweet (among other things, lol), I now have back up. And let me tell you – she means business!