The world seems to have gone crazy in the last 72 hours. It’s been really tough maintaining the optimism this week.
I’ve recognised an optimistic trait in myself for as long as I can remember. My whole life I’ve mostly tried to hope for the best. Keep accentuating the positive. It doesn’t always work but generally speaking, that’s how I roll.
My optimistic psyche isn’t about possessing a ‘Pollyanna’ style persona preaching silver-lining methodology to all and sundry – that would be incredibly annoying – apologies to Hayley Mills. In my case, it’s more of an inner positivity that only influences how I’m feeling about people, things and/or events around me. I may or may not express those views to anyone else.
Despite this, I still have moments of feeling down or depressed. The only difference is as an optimist I’m aware I won’t stay that way for long. Eventually the positive spirit within can’t help but take charge, thrusting aside all negativity cluttering up my brain and whipping things back into shape.
Taking regular time out for myself helps maintain this status quo. Being near the water – the beach, especially – is the perfect remedy. There’s something about the smell, sound and visual delight of the sea that brings out every good and joyous feeling I possess. I feel alive there.
After this weekend, I think I need to go back.
Because I found it almost impossible to shake the sadness and heaviness in my heart today. It got to the point where I had to stop watching the news because it was too much. Too brutal. Too senseless. Too many questions bouncing around in my head, asking why? Why??
So I binged on TV show Vikings as an escape – including all its bloody violence and gore – because it was simply a television show, and not our current reality. More blood onscreen than you could poke a stick at. Believe me, the irony of my viewing choice hasn’t been lost on me.
But that was still preferable to the news. You know, with stories about real life. And real people. With families and friends and normal lives like you and I. Far too real, far too close to home.
Right now, it’s fucking hard to put an optimistic spin on THAT.