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Crash and burn, baby…

Okay, I’ll bite.

So it’s another week, another celebrity break up. And this week’s contestants are Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes!

“Smile, darling! I’ve got a surprise for you!”

Surely everyone saw this coming? (Unlike Tom, however. So-called ‘sources’ report that he has been ‘blindsided’ by the news.)

The jokes are flying about thick and fast, before the ink is barely even dry on Katie’s just-filed papers. Comedians must be having a field day. How about this little gem I saw tweeted by Al Yankovic:

“Sorry to hear that Tom Cruise’s marriage has jumped the couch.”

LOL. I wish I’d thought of that.

Like many friends my age, I used to LOVE Tom Cruise. He first popped up on my radar as part of a stellar cast (Patrick Swayze, Rob Lowe, Matt Dillon) in the classic 80’s film, “The Outsiders”. Male angst never looked so good.

Later that year he did “Risky Business” and after watching him grin that grin, wear raybans like no other and dance around without his pants, I was a dead set fan.

Old time rock and roll never looked like this with Bob Seger…

Seriously, who HASN’T watched someone try to do that floor slide in your socks on a timber floor? Or had a crack at it themselves? I can think of various occasions. Liquor may or may not have been involved, ahem. Just sayin’.

But the deal was well and truly done when THIS hit the screens in 1986:

“I feel the need… the need for *insert your own desired activity*

Oh yeah. Sure. You betcha, baby.
I am, of course, talking about Top Gun. After it was released every boy wanted to be a fighter pilot and every girl was thinking about how good that jumpsuit would look lying on the floor of her bedroom. Come on, admit it. I know I did. 
And the fangirling relationship continued over time, apart from a few lean years around the early 90’s (Far and Away, anyone?) and the bad taste in our mouths in 2001 after he dumped ‘our’ Nicole (and his status as Australia’s Most Favourite Son-in-Law). I was willing to forgive that and extend the olive branch – I’m not one to hold a grudge – and so I continued to watch him on the silver screen.
But it wasn’t to last. And Tom was the one who killed it.
“Watch me jump all over my carefully controlled image, Oprah!”

My inner fangirl simply couldn’t get over the Couch Jumping Spectacle. Watching him gush all over Oprah about his love for Katie Holmes was fine in itself but with added CJS, it catapulted him into the Freak Show category. And no amount of brain bleach could make me go there again. I managed to watch a couple of Mission Impossible movies since then but frankly, not much else. I had to be honest. The love affair was over. *sigh*

I have yet to see “Rock of Ages” but the 80’s music fan living in my heart is desperately pushing me to try. I’m not sure if I can deal with the sight of Tom in tight leather pants with snake-headed cod piece though. It’s possibly ‘too little, too late’ or more likely, kind of embarrassing. For HIM.

So tell me: are YOU a Tom Cruise fan? Who’s surprised by the news of TomKat’s split? Does Nicole feel secretly vindicated now? Oh, to be a fly on the wall of the Kidman/Urban household…

6 responses to “Crash and burn, baby…”

  1. Anonymous Avatar

    Dude, I wanted to be a fly on the Kurban wall BEFORE!!! I can hear Nic's giggle from here! 😉

  2. What Sarah Did Next Avatar

    LOL. Yes, I suspect you're quite right about that! Nicole is DEFINITELY winning at life all round now, hehe.

  3. KPB Avatar

    We have basically followed exactly the same Tom Cruise trajectory. While the Mission Impossible franchise went someway to redeem him I couldn't get past the sneaking suspicion that all that fame and money and cult had turned him batshit crazy.

  4. What Sarah Did Next Avatar

    Absolutely – it's the 'fame and money and cult' bit that still lingers in your mind. The more I hear about Katie's life with Tom, the more I'm thinking "Run, Katie, run!"

  5. Janine Fitzpatrick Avatar

    Yep, followed that same Tom Cruise path, seriously, with all the fame and money how did he end up mad? How about the spooky "all divorced from him at 33" do you think was just the age they came to their senses?

  6. What Sarah Did Next Avatar

    The media coverage has gone from the weird to just plain wacky, hasn't it? I've seen a list of 'conspiracy theories' about why Katie had to leave, loads of stuff relating to Scientology, and of course, the amazing revelation that all of his wives left when they turned 33.

    I think money changes people, I really do. And when you're making the amount of moolah that he does, it'd be difficult to stay grounded in reality, don't you reckon? Especially when you're talking about the kind of wealth he has.

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About Me

Hi, I’m Sarah!

Former wild-child of the 80’s, classic rock fan and loyal friend to a particularly awesome group of people. Forever planning to write more. Fervently wishes she lived at the beach. Loves the mighty All Blacks. Rather partial to a cheeky glass of red.

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